On the other side of that door

Sometimes I wonder if anyone ever looks at me with Ethan, and wonders how my life is behind closed doors. I wonder if people pity us or if they are proud of us for raising this child. I wonder what people are really thinking. People often will say something directly to your face but be thinking something completely different. Are they glad that it is me and not them? I know to some these things may sound silly. I really do wonder though. For anyone who actually does wonder, I will tell you that at this time it is like raising any other 3 year old........Mostly

With any child, there are no guarantees. Ethan is a lot like any other 3 year old boys. He loves to get into mischief. He loves to play outside and run through the sprinkler. He tries to do what his older brother and sister do. He learns new things everyday. There are a lot of things that he can do. I will admit though, sometimes I look at all of the things that he can't do and I start to feel sad. I try not to go to that dark place very often. It is hard to keep myself out of it though. I wish that Ethan didn't have so many doctor appointments. I wish that Ethan didn't get sick so often. I wish that when Ethan was thirsty, I could just pour a drink and give it to him. I wish that Ethan could tell me everything that he wants. Don't get me wrong, he tries so hard to communicate and most of the time I can understand what he is trying to tell me. Sometimes I wish though that I didn't have to guess. He gets so frustrated sometimes because he knows what he wants to tell me, he just can't quite form the right words. Like I said, I try not to go to that dark place very often. I will end with saying,
Most of the time, on the other side of the door, we are just like every other family. Every now and then though, I find myself having my own "pity" party and wishing that things were different. Here is a picture of my handsome man.